Everyone knows that a wedding is never complete without the usual “Bitter!”, after which the newlyweds must kiss. At the same time, almost none of the invitees know why this particular word needs to be shouted.

The cry of “Bitter!” accompanying the kiss of the newlyweds is one of the distinctive features of a Russian wedding. This element has practically become a cultural phenomenon. The origin of the tradition is explained in different ways: there are both cultural and linguistic references.

Historical roots of the tradition

The tradition of shouting “bitterly” originated a very long time ago, in Ancient Rus'. Usually, preparations for the wedding ceremony began immediately after the harvest, when all important matters and troubles were over. The wedding took place in winter. To begin with, the groom was busy building a large slide for his bride. Subsequently, the slide was filled with water, which quickly froze, turning into a slippery crust of ice. The bride and her bridesmaids stood at the very top. The groom had to shout out the word “slide”. At the same time, he climbed to the top to kiss his beloved. True, this was very difficult to do. The groom overcame this obstacle with his friends, and this activity was considered fun and interesting. Gradually, the “slide” was replaced by the familiar cries of “Bitter!”

There is another version of the origin of this tradition.

In Rus', one of the main responsibilities of a woman was the table and treats. At the wedding, the bride was the hostess of the festive feast, so she had to feed and drink every guest. She brought everyone a glass of vodka, which the guest had to drink and shout “Bitter!” To prove that it was an alcoholic drink and not plain water. After drinking a glass, the guest could give the bride money, and for this he had the right to kiss her. The groom watched and felt jealousy and discontent, so soon the tradition changed - the guests still shouted “Bitter!”, but it was the groom himself who kissed the bride.

The third version of the origin is protection from evil spirits. In Rus' they believed that evil forces do not sleep, and in order to protect the everyday happiness of the young, the guests shouted “Bitter!” in unison. This was supposed to convince the spirits that life was already difficult for the bride and groom, so the evil spirits calmed down and left them alone.

Modern wedding

Today, shouts of “bitter” are used to encourage a happy life for newlyweds. It is believed that the more often this word is shouted, the sweeter the life of the bride and groom will be. Also, the cry “bitter” is used to denote a bitter drink, which can only be sweetened by a kiss from lovers.

Many modern newlyweds are moving away from the traditions of antiquity and prefer to hold their celebration differently than it was before. Some couples no longer want to be heard shouting "bitter" at their celebration. However, there are still adherents of the old days.

And as long as there are such people among us, we don’t have to worry that the traditions of our ancestors will sink into oblivion.

No event, it seems, can be more interesting and romantic than a Russian wedding. This ritual has been around for many centuries, and it has acquired various signs and superstitions that are still relevant today. Even a modern wedding is not complete without many of them. For example, one of the main and main traditions is to shout “Bitter” to the newlyweds, after which they must kiss. What is this feature associated with and what does it mean?

Different interpretations of tradition

The origins of this interesting action must be sought in the past. And there are several options for explaining why people shout “Bitter” at weddings.

Winter fun

Previously, weddings were often celebrated in winter, when it was possible to take a break from sowing and other harvesting work. Legend has it that the cry “Bitter” came from one winter joy called “Slippery Slide,” the essence of which was as follows: before wooing their daughter, parents made a snowy mountain in the yard and filled it with water until it froze.

After this, the bride herself stood at the top along with her friends, and the groom had to climb up this slide to kiss his chosen one.

This entire gaming ritual was accompanied by cheerful cries of “Gorka.” After the kiss, the bride and groom had to slide down together.

Protection from the evil eye

Our ancestors had many superstitions, which could not but be reflected in the wedding celebration. It was believed that shouting “Bitter” could protect a married couple from all evil spirits. The fact is that evil spirits could disturb the happy union of the newlyweds, so it was necessary to outwit these dark forces.

The cries of “Bitter” hinted that nothing good was happening, there was nothing interesting for evil spirits. This is how the guests protected the young from the evil eye and evil.

Treats on a tray

Previously, during the wedding celebration, the bride walked around the male guests, holding a tray in her hands. There were glasses of vodka on it. Everyone who drank a little of the drink had to say “Bitter”, thereby confirming that the vodka was indeed bitter, and sweeten it with gold coins thrown onto the tray. This is where the tradition of exclaiming “Bitter” came from, which has survived to this day.

There is another common version of this legend: The bride herself had to sweeten the bitter drink by kissing each male guest. Such a ritual was doomed to sink into oblivion, because what groom would be delighted with the kisses of his newly-made wife with other men, even in a comic form.

Another version related to treats also occurs. The guests shouted “Bitter” to the couple, hinting that they needed to sweeten the wedding wine with a kiss.

Only the bride had to kiss not with the guests, but with the groom himself.

Bitter event

There is another reliable, but not entirely joyful explanation for this tradition. In ancient times, a wedding for a bride was not always a voluntary and happy affair. Therefore, during the wedding, the girl herself and her parents exclaimed “Bitterly,” thereby making it clear that this was not at all easy for them.

There is an interpretation that this cry came from the guests and also symbolized regret that young people will now not be able to participate in youth entertainment, because such a privilege was available only to free people.

Despite the general joy and fun, the wedding was a rather “bitter” ritual, because the bride was leaving her relatives for someone else’s family, the newlyweds were saying goodbye to their old foundations and habits, most of which had to be said goodbye. It was customary to throw out all these sad emotions with the exclamation “Bitter”, so that life in marriage would be easy, cloudless and happy. This was also a kind of superstition.

Account for years

After the guests say “Bitter”, the newlyweds kiss at the same time. Previously, a similar calculation was used to determine how many years the bride and groom would live in marriage. Nowadays, this tradition is treated jokingly, but in ancient times, newlyweds tried to stretch their kiss sometimes even to the number “one hundred.”

This choral score was like a fateful omen, so both the bride and groom and the guests took it seriously.

Now it’s hard to imagine that the newlyweds will kiss in public for such a long time; it will be tiring not only for them, but also for the guests. Therefore, usually the modern action stops on the count of “ten”.

Traditions of other peoples

The ritual of shouting “Gorko” at a wedding was borrowed from Russians and other peoples: Ukrainians, Bulgarians, Belarusians, Moldovans, that is, other Slavic groups. As for remote countries, in Italy, for example, they shout “Bacio”, which means “kiss”, and the exclamations are accompanied by the ringing of pre-prepared bells. Koreans also perform the same thing at weddings. The Spaniards exclaim "Que ce besen", which means "Let them kiss." Some English-speaking countries have a tradition of knocking a fork on a glass, thereby inviting the newlyweds to kiss.

Many peoples, due to their culture or religion, do not publicly demonstrate their feelings at weddings. For example, among Armenians or Gypsies, the bride and groom are not allowed to kiss in front of everyone, because such behavior is considered simply unacceptable.

Is there an alternative?

Over time, the wedding, despite paying tribute to traditions, has undergone and continues to undergo changes. The newlyweds bring something new to this event every time. Some conduct the ceremony in European traditions, completely eschewing Russian customs. Nowadays there are many possibilities for planning a wedding and you can make this celebration in any style, the bride and groom do not even have to be in traditional outfits.

Even harmless exclamations of “Bitter” are not liked by all newlyweds. To get away from this ritual, you can come up with alternative versions of calls for lovers to kiss. They just need to be discussed with the guests in advance so that no awkward situations arise during the celebration itself.

• You can follow the example of the Italians by handing out bells to your guests. And every time, instead of “Gorko”, a pleasant and friendly chime will sweep through the banquet hall. The bells can thus be decorated, for example, by engraving the initials of the newlyweds and their wedding date on them. After the celebration, these original items can be left to guests as souvenirs.
• Bells can be replaced with bamboo sticks. Guests will bang them on the table when they come in to see the bride and groom kiss. The sound will be muffled (not as loud as bells), and such unusual tapping will definitely appeal to the invitees.

• To add a touch of humor to the wedding celebration, there is the following alternative: instead of shouting “Bitter,” you can write this word on some kind of sign. And periodically some guest will raise it so that the newlyweds see the hint. And for the bride and groom, you can make a sign so that they can cover themselves with it while kissing. At the same time, you can decorate it with some funny inscription for an even more interesting effect.
• If the newly-made spouses simply don’t like the word “Bitter,” then who’s stopping you from simply replacing it with another word? Fantasy is not limited, the main thing is to discuss this important moment of the ceremony with the host and guests in advance.

Whether to follow long-standing traditions or not is everyone’s personal choice. But still, the kiss of lovers during the most important event of their life together is one of the most vivid and romantic sights.

What else can replace the shouts of “Bitter”, see the next video.

It is necessary to understand the origins of wedding traditions, because each of them has its own meaning and history. The custom of shouting “Bitter!” at a wedding has its roots in ancient Rus': guests shouted this word after a toast so that the bride and groom would kiss. Many newlyweds still observe this ritual, but do not think about why those invited should shout “Bitter!” Let's figure out where this tradition came from and what it means.

Why is it customary to shout “bitterly” at weddings?

This custom has no exact history that can be traced. There are several versions according to which it is customary to shout “Bitter!” at a wedding, and each has the right to exist. In the distant past, after wishing happiness to the newlyweds, one of the guests said: “The wine in the glass is something dirty,” after which the newlyweds had to kiss. It was believed that the drink was cleansed and sweetened by the kiss of the newlyweds. Watch in the video below one of the many versions answering the question of why people shout “Bitter!” at a wedding:

According to another version, in Rus' it was customary for the bride to go around to all the guests with a tray on which there was a drink. Guests had to put money in it, take a glass of vodka and say “Bitter!” The newlywed was supposed to sweeten the drink with a symbolic kiss. And now some young people at rural weddings adhere to this tradition. There is another version, more modern. Some researchers argue that guests and relatives of the newlyweds shout “Bitter” in order to express symbolic sadness about the end of their single life.

In order not to jinx the newlyweds

Nowadays, there is a widespread belief that you should not share your joy with anyone, otherwise you will have to say goodbye to it. The ancestors completely agreed with their contemporaries, so the following version of the origin of wedding cries “Bitter” is widespread: this is done in order not to jinx the newlyweds. Why is it bitter? To demonstrate to evil spirits that not everything is so smooth for the young, and therefore there is no point in harming them further. If you shout “Sweet!” at the wedding ceremony, then envious evil forces will do everything to destroy the happiness of the couple.

Throw out all the “bitterness” before the wedding

Our ancestors believed that numerous pronunciations of the word “bitter” symbolically throw out all the bitterness that has accumulated or could accumulate in the young. After such a wedding feast, family life should proceed smoothly and happily in the future. There were always plenty of reasons for bitterness:

• farewell to the old life;
• leaving home;
• parting with your habits.

In the old days, during a celebration, the length of a couple’s life together was determined in this way: while kissing the bride and groom, relatives and friends counted in unison to one hundred. As many as they can count, the young people are destined to live together. Nowadays, such a test is treated as fun, but previously young people tried to hold out a kiss longer, because they considered this tradition a very serious omen.

The origin of the tradition is to shout “bitterly” at a wedding

For many hundreds of years, guests at weddings have exclaimed “Bitter!” However, it has not yet been determined exactly why they do this. Perhaps people in ancient times wanted to say that the wine in the glasses was not entirely sweet, or perhaps, on the contrary, to praise the newlyweds for the fact that the vodka on the tables was real, strong. There are many versions of this ritual, but now you can’t tell which is the most correct. But this custom is so ingrained in wedding traditions all over the world that it is unlikely that it will be possible to get rid of it.

Many peoples adopted this tradition from the Russians:

• Ukrainians;
• Belarusians;
• Bulgarians;
• Moldovans.

In almost all languages ​​of the Slavic group the word “Bitter!” must be heard at every wedding ceremony. In Italy, there is a similar tradition: when relatives want the newlyweds to kiss, they ring prepared bells, filling the banquet hall with melodious chimes. And even the Koreans adopted this custom, most likely not knowing its origins. People just enjoy watching lovers kissing.

But not all modern newlyweds like to kiss, publicly demonstrating tender feelings, especially in front of annoying or drunken feasters. Many perceive this cry as fun for guests or a call for another glass of wine. Therefore, some young people refuse such a wedding custom altogether, discussing this with their guests in advance. Whether to support long-standing customs or not is a personal matter for each couple, but is there anything more romantic than a kiss between lovers, even if it happens in front of everyone?

Wedding traditions are interesting and diverse. And in particular, there is a custom of shouting “Bitter!” at weddings. Why is this done, and for what reason should the newlyweds kiss at this moment? There is no clear answer to this question, and in order to get closer to the answer, it is necessary to consider ancient traditions. They contain a lot of wisdom.

Shouting “Bitter!” taken after a toast, then the newlyweds must kiss. The tradition came from Ancient Rus'; today it is followed not only by Russians, but also by Ukrainians, Belarusians, Moldovans, and Bulgarians.

Versions - why you need to shout “Bitter!”

There is no single version explaining this custom to this day. However, there are still several options. So, in the past there was a tradition of saying “Wine in a glass is dirty” at a wedding; these words were spoken after wishing the newlyweds happiness. After pronouncing them, the young people kissed, because it was believed that a sincere kiss cleanses the wine and makes it sweeter. Further, these words were transformed into a cry of “Bitter!”, when instead of wine, vodka often began to appear on the tables.

There is also another version, which says that in the past the bride had to go around each of the guests personally and offer each of them alcoholic drinks from a tray. The guest was supposed to respond by putting money or another gift on the tray. Drinking vodka from a tray, the guest said: “Bitter!”, and the bride symbolically kissed him. This tradition can still be seen today and is practiced in villages.

Interesting fact: there is a third version, according to which the cry “Bitter!” symbolizes sadness that a girl's or bachelor's life is ending, and guests regret it.

"Bitterly!" - so as not to jinx the young

People have been thinking for a long time that it is impossible to share joy; this has developed into some customs. So, it is not recommended to talk about your successes or brag about your assets. A wedding is also not a reason for boasting, because someone may envy the bride or groom and bring grief to their subsequent life. Some people think that the cry “Bitter!” came precisely from these beliefs. This cry was supposed to inform envious people and evil spirits that not everyone here is happy, and therefore there is no point in envying or harming. If you demonstrate at the ceremony that everyone is happy, this will certainly activate evil spirits and envious people - this is what people thought in the past. This is where the tradition of shouting “Bitter!” came from.

Interesting:

How and from what is chocolate made?

Cross out the past negativity

There is a version that when shouting “Bitter!” it is possible to throw out all the past negativity that could have accumulated both in the past of the bride and groom separately, and within the framework of their premarital relationships. Also, this cry was supposed to throw out subsequent negativity, which would manifest itself after the wedding. After all, the moment of marriage is an important milestone in life, after which the bride was supposed to move to the groom’s house, everyone had to give up some past habits and get used to the new state of affairs. Having thrown out their bitterness at the wedding, the newlyweds could more easily go through the difficult moment of establishing their new life together - this is another explanation for this tradition.

Interesting fact: when kissing after shouting “Bitter!” It is customary to count to one hundred. It is believed that the longer a couple kisses, the longer they will live together.

The tradition of shouting “Bitter!” at weddings these days

This tradition has existed for more than one century; today it is difficult to say in what era it originated. And today, not all people know why they do this, but the tradition turned out to be so strong that they rarely abandon it. Someone says that in the past, guests praised the vodka poured for them in this way, or, on the contrary, scolded the wine provided to the table. It will be extremely difficult to understand the details today.

It is not known for certain how far the roots of this custom go. There are already references to this in stories about Slavic weddings of the 18th and 19th centuries. Later, the custom was maintained in the Slavic republics of the Soviet Union, and in the post-Soviet space. So why do they shout “bitterly” at a wedding?

Several theories about the origin of the custom

Russian, and Slavic weddings in general, consist of many customs and traditions. Some of those getting married choose weddings in the European style, completely abandoning such customs as the blessing of parents, bridewealth and other wedding fun. Some of them have already been forgotten, some have been interpreted and adapted in a modern way. Among them is the tradition of shouting “bitterly” to the newlyweds. Screams are heard after every toast, and no one wonders whether the young people want this, and where this custom came from.
According to researchers and historians, there are several versions of the origin of this custom.

Version 1. Phonetic inaccuracy

For a long time in Rus', the period of weddings and large celebrations occurred at the end of autumn and winter. This is directly related to the seasonality of agricultural work. That is, all the festivities were held during free time from work, and, as a rule, this was the cold season. The party was bright, fun and spectacular. And the fun “Gorka” - which later transformed into “bitter” - is no exception.
In the courtyard of the bride's house, a high hill of snow was poured, and one of its slopes was filled with water in order to make an ice slide. The bride and her friends climbed to the very top and waited for the groom and his friends to climb up the slippery slope. The guys, having climbed to the top of the slide, had to kiss the girls’ cheeks and all together happily slide down. The guests who were in the yard cheerfully shouted “slide, slide.”

Version 2. The bitterness of farewell

The girl leaves her father's house. The guy says goodbye to a cheerful, bachelor life. Fun, some favorite things, childhood and youth remain in the past. And it makes me sad. The guests remind the newlyweds of this, and they try to sweeten the separation with kisses.

Version 3. Kiss from the bride.

The young wife personally served drinks to the guests. And the invited man, after drinking, could shout “bitterly” - in this case, the bride had to give him a symbolic kiss on the cheek.
Skeptics oppose this theory. Motivating his protest by the fact that the young husband would hardly like these, even completely innocent kisses. That is, the custom would not have a chance to take root at all.

Version 4.

According to this version, the main burden of providing the young couple with a cloudless, happy future lay with the guests. By shouting “bitterly,” they seemed to take away all possible bitterness, troubles and misfortunes of the newly-made family. The more active and louder the shouts were, the more cloudless and happier the life of the newlyweds was.

Version 5. Quite mystical.

In distant, unenlightened times, people tended to mystify everything, to endow things with supernatural powers and abilities. They also believed that evil spirits roam the earth in an ineradicable desire to harm people, especially happy ones. Where can you find more happy people than at a wedding? By shouting “bitter,” the guests wanted to deceive the evil spirits, to show them that everything was already “bitter and bad, it couldn’t get any worse.” The evil spirits, having heard this, had to leave without taking salt.

Version against everyone.

There is also such a version. She says that such shouts are generally inappropriate at a wedding, since apart from bitterness it does not bode well for anything good in family life.
Which one to believe in is your choice.

Why is counting kept while the young people are kissing?

After the call for a kiss, the guests begin to count together “one, two, three, four, etc.” Have you ever wondered why? The world record for the longest kiss has already been set. It is 58 hours 35 minutes and 58 seconds. It is unlikely that the score is being kept with the goal of beating him, or even getting a little closer to him. Then why?
It turns out that they count for a reason, not the time of the kiss itself, but the years. How many guests count, so many years will a happy family life last.
Now, perhaps you'll look at the prospect of kissing in front of everyone, with loud cheers, from a different angle. More supportive. After all, this is done for the benefit of the newlyweds.

Traditions of other peoples

Each nation has its own history, rituals and customs. Wedding traditions included. So, for example, at a Georgian and Armenian wedding you cannot shout “bitterly”. Why?
Due to completely different mentality, characters, upbringing and culture. The peoples of the Caucasus and Transcaucasia, even those professing Christianity, are known for their strict morals, especially when it comes to raising girls. In Muslim countries, parents can still choose a partner for their children on their own, without taking into account the opinion of the girl or young man.
A kiss is already a fairly intimate part of the relationship between a man and a woman. And since a girl must marry innocent, displays of feelings, even in public, are not allowed. The groom may kiss the bride on the cheek, or symbolically. Everything else is ahead of them. Alone with each other.
Instead, guests pronounce toasts of incredible beauty, instructiveness and sincerity - parables. If guests of another nationality are present at the wedding, a shouted “bitter” may be met with slight disapproval from elders, and a shy kiss on the cheek from young people.

How to do without shouting “bitterly”?

How can you replace screams, which have become almost an anachronism, at a modern, stylish wedding?
First of all, inform the presenter, organizer or coordinator of your event about your desire. Notify invited guests about this yourself or with his help in advance to avoid unwanted situations.
After the toast, the guest can say “three times Hurray to the newly-made Ivanov family” and the newlyweds can kiss to the clink of glasses. You can place small bells for these purposes, or one, but larger, can be given to the person who will make the toast.